Bumps, Bruises, Getting Back Up, Parent/Teacher Meeting

With Monday being a holiday, sweet pea was ready and raring to go back to school after the long weekend. On Tuesday, I dropped sweet pea off and then delivered her little sister (pumpkin) to her first day of daycare. All day, I was worried about pumpkin, hoping she was making the transition OK and enjoying her new teachers. When I went to go pick up pumpkin, she gave me a huge hug and a happy smile. I knew right off the bat she had a fantastic time.

Pumpkin and I made our way to pick up sweet pea and when I laid eyes on her I knew she had a BIG tumble at school. Scratched nose, swollen upper lip, bruised knee and scratched up elbow. I went to go ask her teacher what happened she said she didn’t know what happened. With prompting, sweet pea was able to tell me that she got run over while on the playground and was taken to the office to get cleaned up.
A few things ran through my mind as a result of the incident…

1. I want a call from the school after an accident like this happens.
2. The teachers should know what happened and when they don’t; there is a huge problem with communication at the school.
3. Because sweet pea has had 3 open heart surgeries, she is especially vulnerable to injuring her sternum. Even with contact sports, athletes are protected. But with no protection and a big tumble like she experienced on Tuesday, she could have been really hurt. We were negligent in telling her school about her risks to her sternum. They know about the heart surgeries but without expressly telling them about “no contact sports/roughhousing” they can’t connect the dots.
4. Sweet pea has language delays and anomia. Relying on her alone to tell me what happened was unacceptable. I was super peeved.

I called my husband to let him know what happened and spent the next few hours simmering down before sending the staff an email. Sweet pea’s daddy was really concerned for her safety but I was more concerned about the lack of communication. At 8:00pm in the evening, we did get a phone call from the vice principal with a detailed account of what happened. I was able to convey how sweet pea’s special needs negatively impacts that type of event and what’s required for the school in order to make things right.

Ultimately the resolution is a “work in progress.” I’m convinced the school is very sorry for what happened and have taken steps to improve communications with parents of injured children. Later in the week another kid skinned her knees pretty badly and the mom was called immediately after they bandaged her up. This is a huge improvement in communication response time and with a few more discussions I think sweet pea’s safety and emergency communication plan will give me and my husband some much needed peace of mind.

I ended up volunteering in two other classrooms later that week so I could get a feel of what it’s like on campus. Being new to Montessori, the volunteer experience provided me a live and in person perspective of the challenges and opportunities for students to learn. In one classroom, the students (referred to as friends) had a personal visual chart of what they were expected to do during work period. This chart is similar to a visual scheduler used by some children with autism. I have to say, I LOVED seeing this concept in action in an inclusion classroom. Since a lot of students weren’t able to read yet, the visual chart was a way to keep students on task regardless of reading and auditory memory ability. Not all the teachers employ the visual chart but in this particular classroom I was really happy to see it used by all the students.

One of the activities on the visual chart was to do a writing activity using Montessori metal inserts. I was able to find a video on youtube demoing how to use the metal inserts for tracing (check below). The metal inserts have a nice weight to them and I could imagine the challenge sweet pea might have when using them because of her hypotonia. It would be challenging but in a good way to help develop her hand and finger strength. I could totally see this same toy being used by OTs to help facilitate handwriting skills. Loved, loved seeing the metal inserts used in the classroom this way. And the student I observed using them seemed to find the activity fun too!

On Friday I got to meet with sweet pea’s lead teacher. I know that the teachers are overwhelmed and super busy at the beginning of the school year but this meeting could not come soon enough. There’s so much information in sweet pea’s file but it’s incomplete until I can provide the color and context to make her IEP come alive. Probably the worst part of our venture into an inclusion school is for me having to talk with her teacher that has absolutely no experience with special education and children with sweet pea’s complex medical and development history. Sweet pea has 3 teachers. A resource specialist with a mild/moderate sped credential and 2 classroom teachers. The lead teacher has a Montessori credential and a master’s in education and the secondary teacher is a multiple subject credentialed teacher with an emphasis in ELL. The meeting on Friday was with the lead teacher with the Montessori credential.

In all honesty, I don’t like sharing sweet pea’s history with anyone outside of the special needs community. When I do share with “typical” people, the reactions I get are pity, shame, or denial. Special needs folks are accepting of sweet pea’s differences, they find humor where I do and they provide empathy without pity. I simply don’t have to explain myself because we have a shared experience of early intervention, a lot of dr. appts and hospitalizations. I can’t fault the “typical” people for how they feel and they can’t evolve unless I over share. But it’s still a very uncomfortable experience for me.

To sweet pea’s teacher’s credit, she was an awesome listener. I wanted to share sweet pea’s birth, toddler and preschool history. I made the assumption she did not know about early intervention or the different types of special day classes available in our district so I gave her a bird’s eye overview of the systems of support. We went through the concepts of therapy, accommodations and assistive tech. We also touched on the hallmarks of special education – inclusion and independence. Independence in particular is a key value that Montessori and special education teachers share. I think this shared value helps to create an inclusive classroom environment where typical children and children with special needs thrive. In the short time we’ve experienced the school so far, I can attest that the transition has been smooth primarily because of this shared value.

Sweet pea’s fall did not deter her from going to school the next day. She totally loves her new school and I can see her pride as she shares with strangers the name of the school that she goes to. Her teachers share that she has long periods of sustained engagement and is able to navigate the room independently in spite of being one of the smallest in a class of 35 students. I was worried about sweet pea’s level of confidence declining as a result of an inclusion classroom but the exact opposite has happened. Sweet pea is oooozing confidence.

Hope Blooms Here